Hate And Love

I really do hate him.

I also really do love him as well.

And I hate that I love and hate him all at once.

While writing this yet to be named novel I have found myself both infatuated and in a a horrible hatred of my lead male character. I think the hatred might steam from not understanding him or his motives yet. He says the stupidest things to my main character that just baffle me to no end. All the while I keep thinking: Who does this guy think he is? He can't talk to her that way!

Yet he continues to do so. Bless my main character for putting up with him this long. Yes I'm only at 58 pages and already characters are turning on me.

I also think he's unbareable to me because he keeps interrupting my main character. His first point in the novel is to make her life complicated, he's the conflict, the plot, yet some how I keep routing for her to be rid of him. I don't know how they're ever going to fall for each other.

That brings me to the love point. I really do like that he pushes her buttons. He's different from anyone else in the story. He's got his masks on and I still haven't figured out the truth and the lies. I DON'T KNOW MY OWN CHARACTER! No idea what his motives are, his background, why he hides certain things about himself yet doesn't hide the bad things. He's just very strange and a bit mad to me.

But yes I like him. I completely like him, though the word love isn't coming into my mind at the moment. Still need some time to fall in love with him. Right now I'm existing in the world of my main character who's just perplexed by how wrong he is, but how good he can be.